Most of the programs I get asked to design, or the executives that enter into coaching, face turbulence within the workplace. Change is the one constant we can all count on. Managing through turbulence - be it scale, a marketplace pivot, or an abrupt swerve in leadership or position – requires resilience.
The resilient organization is a learning organization. It has mechanisms in place to be agile, to codify learnings, and to create safe spaces for its people: these are the cultures where we all can thrive and grow. Sometimes we have the luxury of working within a resilient organization, but often we do not. How do we cultivate resilience in our own teams so we can survive stormy weather?
Take the Oxygen First
Turns out Darwin had a theory and it was largely correct: evolution is a collaborative act. Our brains are hard wired to learn. You know the brain has high plasticity, right? This just means we are wired to learn, and we can start to identify and shift our behaviors, even our own biology, to develop better response mechanisms. Even if a team or organization has been stressed for quite some time, we can still recover. It just takes knowing a few Ninja moves to help those people who are feeling less resilient, or down right beat up.
Remember, resilience is your own brain’s recovery from stress. There are a few factors that combine to create the conditions for resilience. It turns out resilient folks generally have higher dopamine levels and a better developed serotonin signaling. Sounds complicated, but it has to do with how your brain responds, and there are some conditioning things you can do to boost everyone’s resilience.
Calm Down: The House Is Not On Fire
If you or your team are experiencing a full on Amygdala Hijack (that’s the voice in your head screaming the house is on fire) you need to pivot immediately into stabilization – for you or to help others.
Biology First
If you or someone (or a team) are in full on meltdown, address the biology first. Call for a pause or a break. Create a buffer zone for the cortisol to wash through. An Amygdala Hijack can take a full 15 minutes, so budget your break accordingly. Use your words to build the bridge so others can follow along with what is happening.
o Example: I sense we just need a moment here. I know I need to attend to things before I can have a meaningful exchange. Let’s meet back here in 15 minutes (or put some kind of certainty on it.)
Encourage the team (if possible) to disconnect, unplug, and do some deep oxygen intake (deep breaths – literally) for at least as long as it takes to calm the neural system that is triggering defense mechanisms.
Add water. Did you know the only two elements that dissipate an Amygdala Highjack are oxygen and water? So before you lose it, close the door, breathe, and drink a glass of water. Then another one.
This may not look practical when the room is awash in rage, despair, resistance – but put in as a practice is worth it. Because, once your Amygdala is Highjacked, there is no real moving forward. This is the zone where we lose people, we make poor decisions, and relationships are damaged.
Step 1 to a resilient response: attend to your brain. You need clarity, and probably so do the people around you. When you do create the conditions for your neural system to find its sea legs and establish a sense of calm, you are walking right into Oxytocin’s wheelhouse. Oxytocin helps you adapt instead of melt down. Oxytocin is the warm comfy blanket your neural system needs to feel psychologically safe. And once you feel safe, you can help others feel more stability as well. You are ready for step two, examine your thinking.
Step Two: What Kind of Fire Are We Facing?
Once calmer thinking prevails, we can examine the thought patterns that keep us from being resilient. We can learn to pivot to reassurances and disruptors to help orient towards productive next steps.
Can you accurately name the issue?
How do you know the house is on fire? Is this a familiar story to you (does this pop up often for you?) Can you take a moment to accurately and objectively state the problem? Can you (or the group) write it down? Let people put all the descriptors they want into the statement (it will help you validate or challenge debilitating mindsets.) What happens when you take away all the descriptors, colorful adjectives, and enhancers? What is the accurate timeline here and sphere of impact?
What is you or your team’s role in this situation?
What is the role you or this group typically play? Are we firefighting as heroes ( do we always save the day?) Are we the downtrodden, (“We are always disrespected, the last to know, underappreciated, etc.) Are we the enforcers (We’ll just get them to do it, right?) Can you or this group try and see things another way? If you can get your team to identify the role they play, there are many ways to rethink how to engage that is more productive A good place to stat is the Karpman Drama Triangle.
We all have stories we tell ourselves, it is how we construct reality. And conversely, we can gravitate towards roles, teams, or even organizations that will help us perpetuate the story. What are your patterns? How can you find a new story to tell?
How do you reassure yourself or your team they are whole? What is your go to stabilizing thought that lets you know you will be able to engage with this situation? What wisdom or lessons have you learned that led to your survival? Try and help your team see this from an adaptive viewpoint of “learning as we go.”
o What can you or your team learn from this situation? Can we flip this to something you can learn from? If so, what is the lesson and how can we make this meaningful?
o What can we do differently moving forward? Who can help you in this effort? Can others join us on that journey? Can we ripple this shift forward to assist others as well?
Resilience isn’t just for the fortunate few who had awesome parenting growing up, it is a response you can train yourself and your team to adopt. It starts with self-awareness and some agile self care. First biology, then cognition. Take they oxygen first, then pass the mask on over.