What’s In Your Hula Hoop?
I was speaking to a friend up in the Seattle area recently about how she is holding up during the Great Quarantine. And she had some very wise words: “I can only control what’s in my hula hoop. “ Besides being a great image, it is one I keep referencing as we look at what’s in our new work normal.
As an Executive Coach, my calendar has been inundated with former clients (and new ones) who need some perspective on self-management as well as how to provide the sorely needed psychological safety that allows for a team to thrive during a turbulent time. My inbox fills daily with more pontification on how to manage the moment, but it’s pretty clear this is more scrambling to try and find equilibrium – yours, mine, theirs.
So, when G. said to me, “think about your hula hoop,” it seemed like some clarity and a great reminder that you can only control what’s in your sphere to control. In the spirit of sharing what I’ve been hearing over the past two weeks, here are points that I seem to be making to most individuals, regardless of where they are on the totem pole.
Take the Oxygen First
As the world rotates onto an online environment, remember that this can create a 24/7 sense of overwhelm. Those of us who work on virtual teams regularly learned a long time ago that you need to create your own safe spaces and remove yourself from the deluge of access.
Let your team know it is okay to be available at certain times of the day for certain reasons. For example, I will be online and available to chat, Zoom, connect from 9-11. Working on projects from 11 – 1. Zoom meetings will be from 2-4. Will check email from 3-5. I’m not available in the evening. Then follow through on your schedule.
I highly recommend you carve out tech breaks for yourself. Not only from work, but from the onslaught of news that is overwhelming and triggering. Can you find a 24 hour period of time to give all your tech (your computer, your phone, all of it) to a trusted person. Let people know if there is an emergency you can be reached at (give your spouse’s number) and then TURN OFF. Your mind needs to reset. You need to sit with your thoughts, feelings of overwhelm and just process.
This is going to be a marathon. Don’t try and sprint it.
Be Gentle with Yourself (and therefore others)
This is a great time to dust off all that Growth Mindset material you’ve put to one side to read. If you haven’t jumped in, allow me to send you some materials (contact me here on the website). This is the time to reach down deep and call upon your resilience. Be kind with yourself. We are all learning as we go. As far as I can tell, the whole world is somewhere past denial and getting tangled up in the anger or depression phase in the Kubler Ross Change curve. We need to get to integration and adaption, and we can.
Help your team (family, loved ones) name those emotions and recognize that we are going through this collectively. Trying to help people by providing certainty and agency where you can, and helping them pivot to more “learning as we go” moments helps. Yes the whole world is fumbling around on Zoom – the good news is, we are connecting!
Connect and Communicate
It’s important to realize that even though we are holed up at home, at least we’re all doing that together! We have the tools to still meet in ways that are supportive or engaging. I probably attended 12 virtual sessions in the past work week and by the far the most fun one ended with everyone (there were about 16 of us) showcasing pets and kids. Everyone pig piled on in and we had a screen fairly pulsing with good will, pets, babies, and kids. Work was done – and the good will off the charts.
Other experiments that have had fun results: group karaoke, happy hour (everyone showcasing a different libation of choice), and virtual dinner (okay, we have a chef in the group who gave a simple cooking lesson to family members near and far, then we all dined together.) The point is we need to feel connected right now, and it doesn’t all have to be work.
Remember, it’s your hula hoop. You get to decide what goes in there.