Executive coaching and leadership development require meeting someone where they are at, and providing them with the oxygen and a road map to continue their growth. It is a process full of pivots, breakthroughs, regressions, and often hard-won wins. One common thread that binds all my clients together is that in the face of turbulence and rapid change, our true mindsets make themselves known.
What strikes me as a commonality between people who genuinely grow and change is the ability to feel stability, to self-assure, to know they are enough, they have enough, and there will be enough to move forward. Some call this resilience; some call it self-awareness or self-assurance. And while it is a part and parcel of all them, it is also a deep understanding of one of the basic tenets of the abundance mindset: the concept of having enough.
Under stress, it is not uncommon for ego defense mechanisms to surface, often unconscious thoughts, that pop up when we feel some sense of threat or change. Narratives we construct that are based in past experiences are used as scrims or filters, the story we tell ourselves typically surfaces, and for many this is this place where we need to focus, to sit, to begin to “undo” the damage that was done to us. When we are continually braced for impact, we are actually concentrating on scarcity, loss, the factors that feed a constricted and limited mindset.
My wish for you is that you discover the lovely concept of Enough. When we are aware that we have enough, we let go of so many behaviors that lead to a dead end: fear, anger, resentment, comparison, doubt, judgement, scarcity. When we learn to see we are surrounded by enough, we are able to enjoy. We are able to create the pause needed to thrive.
As you move through this upcoming season, may you find the ease of enough.
May you have enough time. There is always enough time. Time is elastic and it is a construct we use to measure and provide a sense of certainty. There is always enough time, it is how you are spending it that requires the shift. A highly collaborative team based in trust will always find the time to make sure the work gets done without burying someone (and their ego or need to do it all.) Or we develop the ability to set realistic boundaries, build alliances, and learn how to collaborate more effectively. We don’t overdo. We don’t over commit. We understand the concept of enough.
May you have enough money.
Beyond the basic realities of existence, money has a very interesting power. Most people feel there is never enough: if they only just had a little bit more. Numerous studies indicate that the wealthy, those with more than they need, suffer a perpetual sense of scarcity and fear. As if money alone is the element of control necessary keep the wolf at bay, to keep those you love safe from harm. As if money itself were a way to live an abundant life.
I once sat in on a workshop that was skillfully delivered for the very wealthy, and for two hours I listened to the very, very, very wealthy expose their deep anxieties (what kept them up at night, ruining their health) was the fear of losing their money. As if they had no ability to still be in the world, to enjoy the world, to provide a sense of goodness for themselves or their children. What a curse.
The word “enough” never surfaced. Every single one of those people felt deprived or as if they were losing something that was slipping through their fingers. They had no inner resources to know they would be okay without their money or they would figure out what their next step might need to be. They were some of the most unhappy and miserable people I have encountered in my professional life.
It would be terrible to not acknowledge poverty and the suffering that comes with not having enough. There is terrible injustice in this world, and as the gap widens between those who have and those who not, it is easy to lose sight of what is enough. May you have enough and not suffer from the grasp for always more. May you be content.
May you find enough connection.
Loneliness is its own form of poverty. I often hear from busy professionals the sense of isolation and lack of connection they feel as they are spread so thin in so many different directions. Fostering relationships takes time, effort, and commitment. Connection can happen at any point in time, all around you, but you have to open that window. We are surrounded by people, we just need to create the opportunity to connect. What keeps you isolated probably stems from you. May you have enough insight to realize you are surrounded by people who might just benefit from a conversation, a moment of engagement, a sense of assurance from you that they are seen and heard and worthy of your time and attention.
In a distracted and distracting world, it is easy to convince ourselves that we do not have enough – of anything. And yet to sit with the assurance that you do have enough kindles the mindset to thrive. This is abundance at its root: you are enough and you have enough.
May you find wonder, curiosity, and endless sense of contentment with knowing you have enough. And may you thrive.